And put your feet up in the stirrups like so…” helping him maneuver.“You’ve got to be kidding! I’m not spreading my legs up in the air like this,” Sam protested.“Do you want me to help you or not?”“This is not a ‘real’ delivery!” He seemed flustered.“It looks like one to me, Sam. Anyway, this gives me more room to work and see what’s going on down here.”Sam flopped back on the table with a loud bang, looking disgusted. I strapped his ankles to the stirrups securely.“What the hell are you doing?” Sam tried to sit up, but I pushed him back. “Why are you strapping my ankles?”“Just relax,” I said. “It’s a safety precaution. You need to hold this turkey up while I check things out between your legs.”“Oh this is just beautiful,” He sarcastically remarked.“I certainly agree,” I responded. “You have just what I need.”“What did you say?” He asked.“I said you’re holding that turkey right where I need it. Now hold still,”….dabbing on the Barbasol cream – a generous portion.“Now. Mum and Aunt Edwina setabout the task of finding just the right swimming costume for AuntEdwina, while Philippa and I looked at the bikinis!"What do you think of this one Edwina," Mum said to Dad. She held up ablue, one piece suit with a skirt attached to it. "I think it looks tooboring and frumpy" Dad said, "I was hoping for something a little moreexciting!"He held one up for Mum to see. "How about this one Lorelei?" he askedMum. It was a bikini like mine."I don't think it's you Edwina," Mum said."I think this one's nice too," Dad said. He held up a one piece, pinkswimming costume that was cut high at the legs and low at the bustline!"Try it on Edwina," Mum said, "I'd like to see you in that one!"Aunt Edwina took the swimming costume and went into the ladies dressingroom. A few minutes later he came out wearing the costume. "It's nice,Aunt Edwina," Philippa said, "But you haven't got the curves for it!"Philippa was right, Dad just didn't have the figure that the.
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